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Make it through.... 

There's  a  GIGANTIC mountain before me that I MUST  climb
Its lonely and SCARY & Its soley MINE
Its about moving forward being happy  now that your gone
Its about believing in my self
Its about being STRONG 
CANT show fear or that your weak 
This enourmous  mountain has a name and Its GRIEF
IT grabs  hold so tight like no other 
 MY first reaction is to run run for cover
IM going to TRY to conquer the Mountain 
For  YOU MY precious Mother 
DEEP down I know you would  hate to she me suffer
I need to put on my game face and get a bit tougher
You have to have the drive and motivation  to climb  that hill
You have my WORD Mom for you I will
IT would hurt you deep to see me IN  so much pain
Yet I CANT control it you know ME
 EMOTIONAL thats my middle  name
I need to muster all the energy  that I have from the inside
This time WONT have  your strength as my guide
Without YOU going to be a bumpy  ride
In me Your motivating spirit forever lives
A smile on my face and I repeat your words "move forward it is what it is" 
THE time is now too Important to hesitate
FOR ME personally a difficult journey to make
Its to you Mom this Trip I dedicate
ALL the wisdom you have shared
OVER the years  resonates 
When I make it through together we can celebrate
AS I now know Grief effects  us all it doesn't discriminate 
You have to love yourself enough..  
Because Grief doesn't allienate
If you want to TRULY heal
 have to be willing  to PARTICIPATE
NO time to be sad and withdrawn 
ONE thing you have taught  me
 is That life doesn't wait it carries on
I want to believe and understand that your not coming back
 too permanent for me I REFUSE  TO accept  that
Rather this just a temporary break
Until we MEET beyond heavens gate
LIVING in  me there IS a hidden strength
Have to tell myself I am worthy
AND fully  competent 
I know this about myself
 cant let my feelings  be denied 
If I don't  make it
Everything  I told you about me 
 being OK was just  a lie
 Important I keep MY PROMISES to you 
THATS WHAT will help to see me through 
I am unprepared  to make the journey without YOU by my side
have to JOIN the LIVING
 spread my wings and fly
ON this self discovery I will remember all that you GAVE
YOU inspired me until the end
you were smiling strong &  brave
I have got a challenge a head of me filled with  good times and bad
MISS U SO much you are the BEST FRIEND that  I ever had
"you just be YOU don't follow the crowd"
GREAT piece of a advice Mom gonna make  you proud
YOU would tell me one step at a time you WILL be OK
DON'T worry about tomorrow 
TRY & make it through TODAY 
I LONG for your PRESENCE to show  me the way
Life goes on thats what youd say
Followed BY "I BELIEVE IN you" & remember tomorrows another day" 
I so cherish your words of wisdom
TO me they always MADE  perfect sense
NEVER will I forget every precious  moment  that we spent
Without YOU gonna be a lonely existence 
BUT because you would want me to live on I will persavere go the distance 
If Ive got anything on my side Its my persistence! 
FOR YOU I will go the long way instead of the path of least resistence 
Everything in life now more difficult without your existence 
For you Mom I will push forward to heal 
I Promise I WONT quit 
Because in my heart I know thats   how you would want it
And whenever I make it to the other side of this Grief and anamosity 
I have COMFORT in knowing
MY biggest cheerleader will be there  cheering for ME
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