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Two cowpokes stagger to the saloon
Fighting because thems fighting words
Over a red parrot blocking their path
Pacing arrogantly before the bar entrance
Flapping green wings and screeching
The two men eventually find their way in
Order up a bottle of whiskey
Drink it down quickly and ask for another
Both argue a matter dramatically clear
Articulate philosophical words from the whiskey and beer
One says the feathery creature outside is a bird
The other says its a parrot
B-I-R-D  I says! says Jack, with a black patch over an eye
PARROT! Screams back Sam because Sam's the man
Judge Johnson interrupted the hombres
Disturbed from his corner and sleep 
Lifting himself and his beard, heavy from drinking
Figuring to intervene 
Jack screams at Sam, you're as dumb as a sack of dirt
That thing, that BIRD outside has wings not fur
It has a beak and eats seeds too you goof
Sam yells back, That species is parrot you idiot!
Judge Jonson jumps in, “It does not matter.” 
Then he collapsed. Table crashed…. The end one…. so that's that
Jack and Sam step outside with drawn pistols 
One of them says one more time, “BIRD!” “You bitch!”
The other replies, “PARROT!” “You bastard!”  
They both gunned down the bird.  No surprise
And went back to drinking inside
Being they was best buddies and all
The parrot or bird ended up there at the top
On the hill in the cemetery in lots a pieces
May it rest in peace
With a tombstone above its head
The epitaph read;

     Here lies the dead bird Polly.  It was a parrot.
     Had a terrible speech impediment
     It screeched and met its doom
     If it knew something about sobriety
     If it could have quacked or chirped quietly
     Stayed clear of bar flies and saloons
     Who knows   
     But Bye bye birdie good-bye

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