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Don’t mind your habits, but they’ve made your mind.
Round the next corner, things will get better.
Until that one fell day when you do find
The credit’s come due and you’re the debtor.

You’ve hidden yourself away out of fear
With sea-green moat, tower, thick sandy walls.
Predators finally could not come near
But no one else can come knocking at all.

Pick yourself apart thoroughly, the pain
Is less than if they figure it out first
Sisyphean task for your fevered brain
A foul practice, but better than what’s worse.

The lonely stone walls, old bones in the keep,
Dragons in the moat, free from invasion.
A lofty view of the bustling street
Looking out from the high crenellations.

At dark shadows you jump, the things you fear
All may have once contributed to it.
But all these things become irrelevant
When you find out that the fuse has been lit.

What smoldered for ages has now caught flame
Under countless, caked layers of plaster
No longer doubtful luxury of blame
To avoid an explosive disaster.

From numbness has hardened the deepest ache.
Seems the one in the keep is missing, too.
Unaware, the demon your soul did take.
The cold, eroding bones are inside you.

Ash grey fuse angrily throws orange sparks,
The why of it no longer relevant
The pain no longer to slumber in dark.
Pinch it, douse it, the fuse will not relent.

Deeply, you know this can’t go forever.
It will put an end to you, and quite soon.
Search your mind, desperate for the lever,
Disarm the bomb or get blown to the moon.

Loved ones wouldn’t begrudge your departure
If they could feel the burgeoning horror.
Or so you think, blinded by the torture
What they see, somehow not in the mirror.

Bet your quickly ticking life it’s too much
When you are the bomb, so hard to diffuse
Leave the Keep's safety, risk the human touch
This lonely fight you do not have to lose.

3/20/16
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