Login
|
Join PoetrySoup
Home
Submit Poems
Login
Sign Up
Member Home
My Poems
My Quotes
My Profile & Settings
My Inboxes
My Outboxes
Soup Mail
Contest Results/Status
Contests
Poems
Poets
Famous Poems
Famous Poets
Dictionary
Types of Poems
Videos
Resources
Syllable Counter
Articles
Forum
Blogs
Poem of the Day
New Poems
Anthology
Grammar Check
Greeting Card Maker
Classifieds
Quotes
Short Stories
Member Area
Member Home
My Profile and Settings
My Poems
My Quotes
My Short Stories
My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder
Soup Social
Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us
Member Poems
Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Random
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread
Member Poets
Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest
Famous Poems
Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100
Famous Poets
Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War
Poetry Resources
Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter
Email Poem
Your IP Address: 13.58.3.158
Your Email Address:
Required
Email Address Not Valid.
To Email Address:
Email Address Not Valid.
Required
Subject
Required
Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
>For the umpteenth time I have received in the mail. The post one not email a letter from a company informing me of my equity release plan. They enclosed a prepaid envelope. Seems a shame to waste it. This is my reply plus I enclosed a list of my books and an introduction to The mad Author lol. My equity release plan Tuesday 15 March 2016 Dear Sir, Thank you for your circular letter, I received it just today. The date that heads this reply which I trust you will read, I say. I wish I was homeowner, as you're right, I'm seventy-two. Alas I'm not, as I am not as rich as blinking you. You see I worked for a charity, caring for animal welfare, every day. Although they supplied me with a shelter, I existed on low pay. But it was a job, I chose, when I left the RAVC. I really did feel for all the animals, I saw treated so cruelly. I do not own my own home, it does not belong to me. So I'm really now sad and upset, I am not getting any equity. But if you bought one of my books, okay, make that two or three. I only need to sell 999,997 more, to qualify for your equity. I'm known as The mad Author, not my real name. You see. You already know my Christian name, as you addressed your letter correct to me. I'm using your prepaid envelope, which I thank you for. But guess this reply, will soon occupy your wastebasket on the floor. That really is a pity,I'll no doubt not hear from you anymore. Unless you buy one of my books, then could be a fan for evermore. And if you advertise me for free. I really will have to thank thee. And I guess you're kind of busy, so this is all now you'll get from me. And that ladies and gentlemen is how I replied to the unsolicited mail that popped through my letterbox. I often do this, as find it is a very cheap way of spreading poetry about the countryside. And who knows, one of these days, someone might read it whose brain goes, click, this man is good, we must publish him. Hurry up Dragon this cloud is getting very thin. I need a lift back to Earth. 'Paralysed everybody'. I said, 'have a nice day, everybody.' Dragon you must concentrate. (The mad author)<
CAPTCHA Preview
Type the characters you see in the picture
Required