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My dream was such that I just didn’t want to be awake
When an unexpected change in tone caused my good mood to break     
As my Buena Vista faded ‘neath a penetrating sound 
And forced my sleepy high to plummet swiftly to the ground

Jolted violently awake from necessary beauty sleep
The most annoying, intermittent, ear-piercing beep
It was not the smoke detector that had opened my eyes wide
But the other one – that warned of leaking carbon monoxide

Still somewhat groggy, my self-preservation mode kicked in 
And I woke my wife, who’d managed to sleep right through the whole din
In haste, we grabbed two dressing gowns – I donned hers, she took mine
And stumbling down the stairs, convinced her everything was fine

Now reeling from the shrill, we made our way to the front door 
Still trying to explain why we were up at half past four
The dog was barking wildly, running rings around our feet 
As we sat in our odd nightwear in the middle of the street

The pre-dawn chill was biting at my unprotected ears
But as clarity returned I knew that I must face my fears
And pulling my pink dressing gown tightly around my waist
I threw my shoulders back and bravely climbed the stairs in haste

I pulled the shrieking beast from its position on the wall
Trying hard to see the readout, but the numbers were so small 
What does ‘97’ mean – and is this reading far too high?
Is it well within the limits or are we about to die?

My concentration shattered, headache pounding and cross-dressed 
I held my breath and pulled the batteries from its beating breast
No time to find the handbook, but I needed now to know
Just what the reading meant and could we stay or should we go?  

So I turned instead to Google, but the image that I found
Resembled mine; though in this picture it was wrong way round
As dawn arose, daylight revealed the cause of my ‘mix up’  
That ‘Lb’ means ‘low battery’ when read the right way up ...
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