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Take your own sweet time, and let others keep time. Tea for two always ends up in a hell-uv-a bellowing brew ; tea and sympathy in a hullaballoo. The choice between Scylla and Charybdis is like the dilemma between the crocodile and the pirana fish. Popes, princes and paupers all piddle but a puddle. The janitor knows when any tenant or proprietor in his charge is about to sneeze or freeze. A poor workman blames his stools. Seasons follow one another like troubles and solutions. Since Life (according to the Yijing) is « conditioned and unfree », how is a kiss under the mistletoe completely free ? A new broom sweeps well, an old ? cannot tell, maybe even hell. If you put the pennies in a piggy bank for a rainy day, what if it never rains ? More haste, less speed ; more waste, less need. Cricketing jargon « Out stumped » : occurs when a batsman during play decides to leave the limits of the crease in order to meet the bowled ball before it, for instance, hits the ground but misses to connect the ball with his bat while the wily wicke(d)t-keeper has (unknown to the batsman) crept up in the meantime to the position right behind the wickets where, with the ball safely in his gloves, decapitates the wickets of its bails, or pulls up one stump with one hand while the other holds on to the ball up high -- a common foolhardy show of bravado that could cost the batsman his wicket and make him « look stumped ». « Caught and bowled » : occurs when a bowler delivers a ball and the batsman strikes it straight and hard back in such a way that the ball in a nano-second heads for the bowler‘s face just when the bowler buckles under in dis-equilibrium during his follow-through : he then automatically puts up his hands in a desperate attempt to ward off the ball but the ball gets stuck in his palms by chance. This great feat in cricket is recorded by the scorer as « caught and bowled » by of course the startled bowler. « The break for tea at four » is a mere excuse to take a pee after a long hot post-lunch snooze in the field. « The runner » is another member of the team who is designated by the captain to do the « running » between wickets, for some batsman who has the good sense to cook up an excuse, such as, a sprained ankle which, curiously, disappears on the way home to his wife simply because the wife wouldn’t fall for the pretext when it comes to fulfilling his marital bedroom duties. A clever wife, of course, would ask for a « runner » to replace the husband in bed. © T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016
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