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Joy and I have been to Melbourne and we’re coming home at last,
From a family get together that I’m glad has come and passed,
It was good to catch up with the rellies who we haven’t seen for years,
But these family get togethers sometimes add too many beers.

So that means waking in the morning to a headache and a pill,
And a promise ‘no more drinking’, but well knowing that I will,
For everybody wants to socialise, in that good old Aussie way,
Have a bar-be-cue, and telling jokes; and boozing near all day. 

Of course a hint of aggravation grows when one does go too far,
Grog tends to loosen up me tongue and so me comments are bizarre,
This causes friction in the camp, when it comes to Joy and me,
Because I can get sarcastic, and then we tend to disagree.

But it’s morning when it really hits, when me minds completely dull,
And all the gremlins at the bar-be-cue are racing through me skull,
All I want to do is find some peace, but after going way too far,
The whip is cracked, the lash it stings, and I must pack the car.

Its pay back time, and big time, for my assault with verbal taunts,
And I’m reminded time and time again for my outrageous flaunts,
It’s really just continual nagging knowing my resistances are low, 
So I’ll put this in the memory bank, and let Joy’s nagging flow.

By the time that we made Charlton, it was time to grab some brunch,
Joy’s finally emptied out her system so her nagging’s lost its punch,
And when eating in the Poet’s Café life became more civilized,
For the settings fine, the tuckers good, and nothing’s criticized. 

Back to normal now we are, that is until we enter Wedderburn,
We both discussed on getting home, but then a look of deep concern,
When Joy opened up a magazine, and is looking for her glasses,
She had left them in the Poet’s Café, and my actions Joy surpasses. 

So pay back time is quickly here, and much quicker than I thought,
It’s an hour back to Charlton, so I made out I’m overwrought,
“For God’s sake Joy why don’t you think, look at what you’ve done!”
And even though that Joy apologised, I’d only just begun.

“You’ve cost us ten bucks more for petrol, and we’ve lost two hours now,
Why did you take your glasses in there? You didn’t need them anyhow!
I’d timed our journey so the sun would not be glaring in me eyes,
How could you be so thoughtless? How come you didn’t realize?”

“You’ve got to learn to think my dear and you’ve got to stay aware,
If you take your glasses in with you, then you bring them out of there,
In future keep your wits about you, and besides … oh bloody hell!
Once you’ve got your glasses will you grab my coat as well?”
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