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Unquotable quotes (More Cricketing Jargon) – IV

A « wide » is a ball aimed by the bowler at some absent-  
   minded fielder.
The « silly-point » is the fielding position so close to the 
   batsman that the captain forces his rival to occupy at 
   the risk of receiving balls on the head, solar plexus 
   and balls hit at over 300 m.p.h.
An « inswinger » is a bowled ball which changes course 
   in mid-air and gets round the batsman to nick the 
   bails.
An « outswinger » is a bowled ball which the batsman 
   thought he connected for a six but which merely 
   nicked his bat to reach the safe first-slip’s hands.
A « run-out » is given when batsmen running between 
   wickets wish to get back to the pavillion in a hurry.
To get « one’s eyes in » is to see cricket balls the size of 
   foot-balls.
A « partnership » in batting occurs when one batsman 
   does all the stroke-playing while the other hurls abuse 
   and advise on him.
The « night-watchmen » are batsmen sent in with 
   blankets to keep the pitch warm at the end of the day.
The « opening batsmen » always take their own sweet 
   time between the pavillion until their crease rituals.
The « one down » is the batsman who makes the ground 
   look like an empty billiard table.
The « top scorer » is not the cousin of the official scorer.
« Clean bowled » happens when the batsman is looking 
   at a blonde in the pavillion.
« Hit wicket » usually occurs when tall batsmen choose 
   long-handle bats for their centuries.
« Leather-hunt » takes place when one ball takes to 
   visiting all corners of the field in quick succession.
A century or two could very well take just half-a-day 
   these days.
The « hat-trick » always occurs when the umpire is 
   dozing after lunch.
« Good shot » means no one has dared put a hand out to 
   stop the ball.
« Medium-paced bowlers » are fast bowlers who have 
   been hit once too often out of the ground.
The « leg pull » always catches the leg and mid-field 
   talking to one another.
The last batsman always takes a wild swing at the first 
   ball in the hope that it would land on the captain’s 
   head.


© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2016
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