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Christmas Eve I heard a knock.
Pretty close to twelve O'clock.

  I asked, "Who's there!?"
"Me Santa, can you
help me, I'm in my
underwear?"

  I opened the door and the 
smell of Rum was in the air.
There stood Santa drunk and
wobbly, in his underwear!

 I asked him, " Have you lost
your mind, do you know what
time it is?"
 He said, I'm sorry Sir It all
started like this."

 "Those kids were pulling on
my beard."
 "One was too old to be
there, he threatened me if
I didn't bring him beer!"

  "The line kept getting
longer, and their mothers
were getting mad! 
   "A riot almost started,
and I was depressed and sad."


  "Finally one more child
to listen to!"
   "I couldn't wait till we were
through!"

   He said, "Santa I waited for
so long."
   "I have to go on your lap,
I can't hold on!"

  " I just have one wish, and
that is to take a piss!"
  "Before I knew it, he pissed,
and I granted him his wish."

 " I couldn't wait I ran right
to my car, and headed to the
nearest bar!"

   "Yeah sure I had a few
drinks!"
   "Those darn kids drove me
to the Brink!"

   "I took my pants off after
three drinks.
    "They were wet and started
to stink!"

    "They threw me out of
the bar in my underwear.
     "And in my wet Santa
pants I left my car keys, there!"

    "So that's why I'm knocking
on your door."
    I looked at Santa and I said
"Say no More."

Michael Tor
     



     
   
  


  

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