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I have two mothers
One gave birth 
The other gave me life
I was chosen
I was loved
I was wanted
But I was different
My adoptive family of pale complexion  
My dark features were in my blood

I was a loner
Shy and withdrawn 
I felt like I didn’t fit in  
I was mischievous 
Somewhat naughty
Questioned everything
Always rebelling
I thought I knew better
Challenging is in my blood

Anger runs through my veins
I still felt abandoned and unloved
I had so many questions
I was an unfinished jigsaw
Pieces missing from my life
What she is like?
Does she ever think of me?
Wonder where I am now
Imagining is in my blood

A troubled teen
With child yet still a child
A much older violent partner
With full mind control
I thought I knew what I was doing
But I didn’t and I lived a nightmare
Surviving as a true single parent
Would she be proud of me now?
Guilt is in my blood

Years have passed
The jigsaw is complete
I met her 
It seemed she accepted me
But the sad truth was
I didn’t like her
She wasn’t how I imagined
Her two younger children took preference
And she rejected me a second time

So now I know some answers
Some she refused to share
The anger is long gone
We no longer speak and I am glad
Rejection has been a part of my life
Lies and secrets too
I still think I know best
My kids turned out fabulous despite the poverty
They knew they were loved from the beginning
Loving them is in my blood

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