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My fetal alcoholic bipolar:

“sometimes I experience low anxiety
and act like a happy drunk”

“sometimes,
like when entering new places 
and situations,
I experience high anxiety
and act like a very bad
and mean-spirited drunk
with immense juvenile curiosity and overload,
near total sensory loss of  ego v. eco-boundary,
megalomaniacal tendencies,
also known as embryonically-inebriated 
Oppositional Defiance,”

which feels like an understatement some days and nights
of every day
of my life
since she,
now nearly 14, 
was five.

Daughter Yang and I attempted to visit
Sacred Community last week,
uninvited.

A sole positive outcome
from this 9:20 AM Sunday rather-early morning visit,
is to have set the bar for achieving more positive outcomes
very low indeed.

At the same time,
Yang seems motivated to be included
and to establish new positive-healthy relationships
with peers 
and within a familial-participatory
multigenerational community.

What Yang and I might be able to bring,
in co-redemptive return for inclusion
as invited, greeted, welcomed members

Also warming the beloved threshold
for my African-American
homo husband
to bring YinYin,
our youngest of three sons,
with paraplegic palsy
and cortical/bielliptical blindness,
with great roaring delight preference for pipe organs
and human song-resonant voices

Perhaps I could
cooperatively partner with you and/or other
interested and invested members
who may already have one or more family members
not able to join your community
as a complete family
or household tribe
due to boundary issues
between this UU community’s
cooperatively intended culture
and the often less mutual, much less cooperative, intentions
of some neutrally/neurally challenged cultures,
Interior Landscapes of Not-So-LoveEncultured Design.

Perhaps we could talk, 
gather our mutual needs 
to optimize each family’s and community’s inclusion 
of diverse trusted truths.

Perhaps we could find
or create
a low-stim focus, 
exercise,
stretching and breathing and balanced-walking meditation,
song and dance liturgical space
for these mutually messed-up folks
of all generations
to practice a more cooperative spirituality
of being with each other
in safe and healthy ways,
and fun; 
humor and mutual-performance entertainment count
with big positives,
like writing narrative poetry
to communities you have seldom met.
“What would you say,
what would you do,
if you dared to be true?”

Perhaps we could then form a child-care cooperative
and any care-givers not needed each Sunday
could attend regular services,
where I would love to sing tenor in your choir.

I can also do male soprano voice, 
as needed or wanted,
and preferably both.

I would love to be part of your Green Sanctuary process,
leading to cooperative community economic
and ecological leadership
in climate change responsive
and responsible (informed, balanced, polyculturally decomposed and analyzed together)
Earth Rights advocacy;
including some reconnecting experience 
with Joanna Macy’s “Work That Reconnects.”

Perhaps I could also meet other poets
or narrative-essay writers,
or even homily writers,
or fiction writers,
play-writes,
music writers and lyricists,
to self-organize “Everything Slams Universally-Unitarian”
liturgical themes.

Perhaps we would find and enjoy and amuse each other,
amongst our multisensory-therapeutic ideas,
while applying Permacultured Design and Development
to both Interior and Exterior Landscapes
of evolving organic neurosystems,
like individuals of light and darker incarnation,
and even more universal formation systems,
trying to balance unitarian flow,
from faith communities to political parties,
from economic to ecological policy platforms
for optimizing health as wealthy abundant life,
inside the challenging threshold
of Beloved UU (All Souls Inclusive)
a “just a little bit Taoist leaning” 
panentheistic community.
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