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(A Guide For New Minions)

1. It is much easier to hate those you know nothing about.
2. Always remember that when you kill someone they are no longer feeling pain. Prolong other's misery whenever possible.
3. The dead are never useless however and can always be used as fertilizer.
4. Logic is always on our side. Your God is MY logic. I am your God. My yoke is bloody good.
5. Emotions are valuable! They slow down your enemy and make him soft.
6. Love has no reason! So hate with all your heart.
7. Incite mob violence whenever you can. The actions of one person only scares others and does not make them feel totally helpless like mob violence can.
8. Sabotage good people and quality ideas to create havoc. Volunteer to help them achieve nuanced goals and then stall, raise red flags, and confuse matters with half truths. The National Republican leadership’s manipulation of Obama when he tried to include them in the first four years of his Presidency as a gesture of good will is a perfect example of this.
9. If you find yourself working on a project that will help anyone in addition to yourself, you have made an error in judgment somewhere and need to rethink the whole idea.
10. Shoot others down before they even realize that you are their enemy. Trust no one unless pretending to trust them gives you an advantage and you can screw them later.
11. Remember that the goal of every lie is to hurt as many people as possible, not just to see how gullible people are. The stupid are easy to dupe even with a very big lie skillfully told. The risk is always that someone will rat you out. But a half truth can disappoint, discourage, and disconnect even close family members and do incalculable damage. Many will not even remember where it came from.
12. Other's tears always chase my blues away and make me feel like whistling!
13. The failure of God's will is not just desirable, it is what I live for!
14. When your actions result in God condemning you eternally to Hell, know that you have made me very very happy. I'm so proud of you, you idiot! God, I'm a good liar!
15. You don’t need to love me! Isn’t that an amazing freedom! I don’t want or need your love, just your mindless obedience. Rejoice my little minion!
16. Always vote Republican. Remember that less government will leave you more freedom to harm others with impunity. Why complicate your life? Your goal should be to isolate people from each other, not bring them together to meet mutual needs.
17. If you read any rule here that does not seem designed to harm others as much as possible, then you have not understood it at all. True power is only realized when you are successful in making others miserable.
18. Go forth into all the lands and be powerful!

Brian Johnston
October 18, 2015

Poet's Notes:
This is a poem whose authorship I am willing to share with you. Add a public comment if you wish to be credited. I will add your suggestion to the body of the poem if I think it is substantial. If you wish to add to the poem anonymously, send me an email, and if I approve I will add it to the poem and attribute the line to "anonymous." This could be a poem without end!   :-)

Please feel free to comment on any line item in the poem if you have suggestions. : -)
 
Spock The Vegan (Of PoemHunter.com) Suggestions…

“Do unto others before they can do it unto you.” (10)
 “Include some truth with your lies so they can’t tell it’s lies” (11)
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