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I've been beaten down, back stabbed and drug through the mud But yet all I search for is my true love I've been thrown down stairs and spit in my face I've never really found my own happy place From a sexual abuse to my first love with a razor I let my family down, "that's not how we raised her" Because I failed school and I saw all these guys That would later account for the tears in my eyes I tried filling the void where my abuse burned a hole in my life, in my heart, in my mind, in my soul But nothing could mend it no matter what I tried All the drinks, the pills, or the tears I have cried I was hurt, I felt broken, I wanted to fade away I couldn't bare to look in the mirror another day So I fought and I yelled and got wasted again And I tried to fix it with more pills and more men From one relationshipship to the next trying to find love I just didn't understand the plan from above I just knew I was cracked like a porcelain bowl No matter who tried they couldn't make me whole I made people cry, and I hurt their pride And I just didn't care how hard they would try Because when they hurt I felt happy 'cause now theyre like me Sitting there wanting what just couldn't be I couldn't be happy, joyful or smile Unless I put on a mask for awhile But I still felt useless, depressed and alone Because I couldn't have a love for my own I kept my walls up because I didn't matter And they wouldn't fall down no matter how tattered I was quick and replaced every person that left Because I couldn't get back that initial theft I lived out of my car with another boyfriend I 'needed' I wouldn't go home no matter how bad I'd been treated Eventually I felt all the pages had been turned My self was gone again, my heart had been burned My life felt disappointing I wanted to give up Then you came out of no where and redefined love So like always I pushed all the feelings deep down For the fear I'd come home and you wouldn't be found You were always there and you never gave up You made me feel worthy of somebodies love So with this I thank you for just being here And helping me love what I see in the mirror And you mended that porcelain crack You filled it with gold and gave me love back And it's more beautiful than ever Shiny new and improved like our love is - forever.
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