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Sitting silently in the Doctor's seats waiting for the diagnosis, to finally be complete. A nurse walked in and said, It will be a while, but little did she know I noticed the concern in her smile. We never expected what would be in those files and that from here we would walk a backwards mile. I as the mother, You as the child. I felt your fear as together we cried. I promised you that day, I would always be by your side. Slowly but surely the damaging host began to take away, all the memories you treasured most. I watched you as you searched for words and much to often, your laughter has gone unheard. As the days pass now slowly and painfully away; I see the child, as with your blanket you play. Once your daughter and a friend, and now you search your mind, for who I am. I wash your clothes and clean the floors cook for you, bath you, speak for you and so much more. I creep into your room through out the night to make sure everything is in its place. Even making sure your night lite isn't shinning in your face. Emotions sometimes come rushing over me as I watch you fade away and silver quickly takes it's permanent place. I find myself when I am with you, wanting my thoughts to share; Then at that very moment missing the closeness of the mother I always believed would be there. Late last night as I stood at your door and watched you sleep; I prayed to the Lord to give us both strength. I know one day, just like all children do; You'll leave me, except I will be forever left missing you. When you have gone to Heaven, our life will once again have changed roles. I will be the old woman waiting to be called home. The look of understanding will be left upon my face as acceptance sets in from knowing, that someday we will be together again. Alzheimer's, the pain remains.
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