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They were good friends
And talked about things 
She never imagined they could
He was into her and she knew
But she cared for another 
She thought she was clear
But she realized
She was not

That night she danced
Danced like she never had before
She was free 
Allowed fun

Then they were done dancing
Time for a real party
She tried again to make it clear
That night nothing would change
She still wanted only a friendship 
nothing more

A hot, sweaty and overly crowded room
Where they found themselves that night
A drink shoved into her hand
At her lips
Without thinking
That’s the only drink she remembers 

Like a TV with bad reception
She only remembers part of the show
But she understands enough

Fuzzy 
Pulling her best friend off a guy
Fuzzy 
Walking past the Rec Center
He was holding her as she walked
Fuzzy 
Until a room she doesn’t know
A body on top of her
Lips ferociously pressed against her
There is barely room to breathe
And no room to talk
Fuzzy
And she is being held up again
Somehow she’s back in her room
Her clothes are suddenly off
“Stop” she yells
But it’s only in her head
The next thing she remembers isn’t pleasant
He’s on top of her and angry he can’t finish
He gets off and finishes himself
She is relieved it is over
But he grabs her head and pushes it down
“Lick me clean,” he says with a smile
A smile she will never want to remember
A smile she will never forget

She wakes up the next morning
Maybe it was all a bad dream
But there is a taste in her mouth
And a throbbing between her legs
They tell her the truth 
There’s a body next to her stirring
It’s time for me to go home it says
She walks it downstairs
Still refusing to believe it’s real
But by the time she’s back to her room
There is a waterfall down her cheeks

The blame is on her
She knew better
Better than to take a drink from a stranger
Better than to trust a man
She knew better
It’s as much her fault as his

Forgiveness will never be deserved for her
It has already been given to him
He didn’t know better
He was never taught the things she was taught
It really was more her fault than his
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