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Who Do You Think I Am?

Do you think I'm disabled?
With known problems, a member of the gang; 
Or do you think I'm a nerd, 
With my computer always switched on?
Do you think I'm a geek?
With books my greatest pleasure;
Or am I a cross-dresser? 
With chinos for composure?

Or maybe you think I'm the fastest footswitch user in the world?
As CALL Scotland of Edinburgh University told me so in 1985;
The footswitch being the device I use to operate my computer:
They did not know I was a home gamer/programmer and used my hands, 
Albeit with a keyguard, a metal overlay on top of the keyboard: 
Anyway, it’s not how you use your computer that matters - 
That’s private to yourself, it’s a transparency;
What matters is what you say on it and what’s your advocacy.

I am, and always have been, an atheist, 
Believing that there is no god at all, 
Knowing that people matter, 
And that good times are gonna call, 
If you’re kind and loving, that is, 
And give people the respect they’re due, 
You have an understanding that comes from knowing, 
That relationships are rational too. 

When I was 3 or 4,
My parents asked me to carry my own Bible to church, 
So I just said no, that I couldn’t physically do that; 
We were already 5 minutes late, 
But they nonetheless scolded me for insolence and wanting attention,
Called me delinquent, with an obstinate streak:
I just looked at them and quietly said, 
“No, I'm an atheist!’: they’d used the word often in denunciation;
But they just scowled at me in retribution.

I found life so hard sometimes, 
That I often would think that I was essentially disabled,
But deep down I've always known myself to be an atheist, 
Wanting normal things like radio, TV, my friends and books, 
Wishing I could relate to another atheist or youth;
So when I left home, I felt loved, respected and appreciated, 
Because people accepted my diversity and atheistic ways,
Such that my difference became my strong point and my always.
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