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Dear Barbara When a man loves a woman: He smiles and laughs with her. He respects her and doesn’t try to direct her. In years gone by, I am certain that there was an ‘air of control’ about me that was uncomfortable to the object of my affection. I’m sure that my father’s DNA kept rushing to the shores of our relationship until you began to ‘push back’ as you identified the problem. I am still not perfect, but I do suspect that my love for you is expressing itself with a greater respect for and far less intentions on directing you. He remembers birthdays, anniversaries, and flowers He compliments, embraces, and test tastes He does not criticize, but seeks to edify her. I am not by definition a perfectionist, but most of my life I lived under a self imposed pressure system far too burdensome. It certainly spilled out on you from time to time, reaching intolerable boiling points. Loving you opened my eyes to the flaw, and is now enabling me to build you up, and not critique you. He talks to her, but listens more. He listens, not with ears only, but also with heart. He hears not only verbalized, but also spirit words He learns to welcome her challenges. Realizing that both of us are made stronger thereby, I have no need for a yes person catering to my every dream and goal. I’m proud to have someone who questions, quizzes, and challenges me. He believes in her, upholds and trusts in her He values her friendship above all others. He waits for her. I have been one ever prone to be a slave to the clock. I have tended to pressure myself and everyone in my family to bow to “time”. Though the wheels of inflexibility turn slowly, love for my spouse is forcing me to chill, be patient and relax. I am very aware that time neither pauses, delays, nor stops for anyone, but I’m learning to serve and wait patiently for you. He is not the answer man, but the ‘stand by your woman man’. He stands with her against all enemies, foreign and domestic. To him, she is above all, and second only to their God. 09082015(contest)
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