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I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I feel the silent air around me. As I sit here and think about all the lonely people in the world, I know now that I’m not alone after all. As I’m deep in thought I hear someone whisper it fogs my thoughts. (“Hold On”) I wonder.......what they mean or who that person is? Hold on to what? Hold on to the present.........my thoughts, this movement in time? I open my eyes and realize who it is that wants me to hold on its Matthew!! I try to be next to him feel his warmth, listen to his breathing, hear his heart beating. Then I try to be with myself, my mind races and my heart thumps every thing inside me feels like it floating around bumping of my heart kicking my brain rubbing on my skin. Goose bumps raise and the tears start to fall from my eyes once again for this person I am so in love with. I miss him. I always needed time on my own. I never thought I needed him there when I cried , but I need him know more then ever. I start to loose myself in thought......He thinks I’m here but I’m not..........I’m long gone. So I can’t hold on if I’m long gone. I’ve tried so hard to keep holding on to him. The way he smells, his touch, the taste of his kiss, even his laugh, the way he looks at me from the corner of his eye. Now I’m lost out their all alone again. What's the use of holding on if I don’t have a grip on myself?
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