Email Poem

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Subject
Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
it is a relationship based on trust / based on I Must Have You
_____ Now / somehow / anyhow / need that blend of painguilt &
pleasure / by any measure, have to achieve the ____ maximum / (the
step before finito) //
      //where was it that i lost / you, / self? when did
      i agree to live like this? / i missed out on something /
      crucial / & i fear i've lost my chance to be / 
                                                     ok.
monsters / rest/ in the dark _____ i miss that / that bold
presence tensing my muscles / poising my mind for
every / little / thing that ever was / seconds registered &
remembered with the respect given to / years / a moment is
all it takes to ________ take you away. //
      //hygiene _____ seenfeltknown inside & out / suffering /
      pretending so hard that it's worth / it. the universe is
      in a fit / thrashing about the cage of man-made
      rage / release sought in the singular death of / a
      faith, one by one / every following murder is easier /
      than the _____ previous.
teach me the true meaning / of / now _____ show me how
to forget all the standards i've let myself / pick up / leave
my body of anything below the Best & with the rest _____
_____ destroy. / ignorance is a virtue, allow me to stay
blind while you pursue / the occupation & i can blame
it on not / knowing / any _______ better //
      don't ask me / why, / i'd defend it to the death / 
      it was worth the try ________ .
lean back ____ clear / your / mind / see how long it takes
you till you can't find / yourself / ____ after a while the
awareness gets put / back on the shelf due to / lack of
use. the constant impending abuse is a bafflement, hanging
between every / slip / of ________ for it remains the /
unexplained.
                                        / i'm walking straight into hell
                      too fukced up to tell
exactly why it was i fell. /
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