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I was in a deep and needed sleep, and having dreams of something beaut. 
I could feel these gorgeous arms around me and other things that’s cute,
For Elle was pleading with me not to leave the comfort of her bed.  
Then I’m awoken with these words “Someone’s at the door” she said.

I could have swiped the missus for intruding on me dream,
And I hadn't even woken up, before again I heard her scream
“Don’t you dare ignore me, get up and go and see who’s at the door”.
Who the flamin’ heck could this be knocking, at twenty-five to four?

I could hear the rain belting down upon the tin roof of our house,
Before I opened up the door to see…who is this intruding louse!
I admit I’m feeling grumpy ‘cause I know this interfering bloke
Has killed the time I spent with Elle, and she’s gone like a puff o’smoke. 

There he was standing there and really staggering in the rain,
As drunk as any skunk I've seen, and that was fairly plain.
I sneered at him “What do yer' want?” He slurred from his twisted ‘moosh’ 
“Mate I wondered if yer’d help me, yer see I’d really like a push”.

Did I see red at three thirty in the middle of the night,
With the rain pouring down, and this mongrel with his plight.
“No bloody way!” I screamed at him, now I’m going back to bed,
Then I told the missus what he wanted, and this is what she said.

“Did you help him like he asked?” And of course I wasn't in the mood
To be friendly with the missus, so my reply was pretty crude 
“It’s raining cats and dogs” I yelled “As well as middle of the night!”
“Oh” she turned her back on me, “It seems your memory’s took flight”.

“Aye!” I said and started thinking, then remembered what she meant.
When driving home a month ago, seeming like the night was spent
Broken down beside the road, ‘til this couple of fella’s came our way, 
Who worked on our car and got us going, with minimum delay.

“All right” I said, “I've got your message. I’ll help the drunkard out”.
 I got dressed and walked out on the porch, and gave the bloke a shout 
“Are you still here?” Then heard him say, somewhere in the dark of night
“Too right I am” but I can’t see him…the rain kept him out of sight. 

“Do you still want a push?” I yelled, above the wind and driving rain. 
“Bloody oath I do” I heard him slur, when he answered me again.
“Where are you then?” I screamed aloud, “I just can’t see a thing”.
“I’m here! I’m here!” The drunk yelled back…“Over on yer' swing”.
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