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“Without you, now I see
How fragile the world can be
And I know you've gone away,
But in my heart you'll always stay”  –Katie Melua


There is a peculiar feeling I remember experiencing when the news came
 I suppose people who have experienced the sudden death of a loved one would understand
 My heart grew heavy; my body felt weak…
Yet there was still a part of me that simply didn’t want to fully believe it
I felt as if my entire body was overflowing with black grief,
Swirling in circular motions all throughout my blood and brain

Stumbling with heightening realization and heartache, 
I ran down the stairs and out the door
I searched around for him, scared to see him, but needing  to see him…
 My sister motioned over to where he was lying… 
“No…no…” I ran across the street to him, and sat there at the curb staring at him
 I cried out in utter shock and pain, 
Sobbing at the sight of my cat stiff as stone, bloated and bloodied
 I had never thought I would see him this way
 His eyes were opened; a couple of flies were crawling on his ears,
 And he was lying in a small puddle of brown liquid
 I knew it was him even at a distance, but I had to check for certain
 Perhaps there was hope…
As bad as it sounded, maybe it was another black cat… 
Maybe Spy was still laying in the grass contently, safe from harm

Scaring away the large flies,
 I felt his tail till I came to the very end of it, where I felt the bend
 This little crook of the tail confirmed it was no other cat but Spy
 Spy - the best cat I have ever had the pleasure to call my own
 My tears fell upon his fur, the hot California sun beating down upon us
 He was my best friend
He was my pride and joy…he was my sweet black cat, 
And I loved him with all of my heart
I think Spy deserves recognition for what he has done for me and my family
Yes, he was just a cat, but to me, he was so much more than that
 He was family, and he was the closest friend I could ever have
  
 Sitting at the curb sobbing, barefoot, hair a mess, not caring who saw me,
 I set my hand on the fur that wasn’t already damp and mucky
My original thought of someone running him over with a car disappeared immediately
Half his face was messed up
His teeth were shattered 
Inconceivable pain still lingered on his dead, cloudy eyes
I lifted each of his paws, examining them, and saw that each claw was severed,
And shards of the claws dangled in various areas
Deep blade wounds were evident as well…
With a heartrending groan, I knew someone did this to him 
And this understanding curdled my blood and rattled my bones
 Someone had done this… 

 Honestly, I wanted to be angry at whoever was involved in the death of Spy,
 But instead, all I could do was feel sadness and cry
A part of me blamed myself of course
I should have kept him inside…
I should have watched over him better…
I should have known something was wrong when he didn’t visit my room that night… 
I should have...I should have...
But now it is just too late…

A man with a short brown beard, plaid shirt
And a navy blue hat approached me slowly,
Holding a shoebox, a sad expression on his face
 
        "Here's... a box you can put him in," He said faintly.
 Being shy, I didn't want to look at him, but I did,
 And his eyes were glistening in sadness.
         
Still shaking with sobs, I thanked him
And began lifting Spy into the box
 Rather a big cat, I had some difficulty,
 But anything was better than leaving him there
 Lying in the dirty gutter collecting flies and other insects

         He said, "I am really sorry about your cat..."
There was a silence, save for my crying, 
And he crouched down near me for a little while.
         
All I could give him was a weak "Thank you."
 I wanted to hug him 
To tell him that he was so kind to stop and help...
I think what we regret the most is not taking action, 
Not saying the right words, or not being there at the right time
 Yet he took action…a stranger, he was there for me, 
 And he cried with me…. 
What a blessing he was to me in that moment
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