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Poem

I am still Me

You laugh and I laugh with you
But are you laughing with me 
Or are you laughing at me?
It’s difficult to ascertain
Because you see
 right now I can’t be certain
Of what is real 
Despite what I might feel
It’s hard to understand
But harder to explain
So please take my hand
Because I am still me
Just the Me you don’t like to see
But this me and the other me
Combine to make me Me

Does it make you uncomfortable?
That I’m not who I should be
Would you prefer I tell a fable
And pretend all is well
Although you can tell
That something is quite wrong
And it has been for long
I can’t help being ill
It affects how I feel
I don’t mean to be shrill
But the look in your eyes
When you behold my flaws
Sends self-worth through the door
Cause I see what you see
And although I am me
I want to hide from what I see
Through your eyes that is me

I am not quite well
But I am still quite me
And I can feel
Though it’s more pain
That hammers my soul like rain
I wish to be normal
I wish to be free
But I am still me
And must learn to love me
Even the Me that I see when 
The world is distorted
With visions of darkness
And can’t trust a friend
Cause I can’t trust me

So don’t make it about you
You are still you
And I am still me
You haven’t changed
But my mind plays tricks
That makes me not quite me
It’s hard to see
But even harder to be
This person with a label
That turns friends to fiends
And can’t trust their laughter
Cause it makes me wonder
Are you laughing with me?
Or are you laughing at me?

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