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I’ll tell you all a story, about when I was just a lad,
And me Mum and Dad were battling with the little that we had.
Dad was working at Yallourn and would travel there each day, 
On his motorbike and sidecar, just to earn his weekly pay.

On weekends I’d help me father, mowing at the health centre. 
He‘d hand across a couple of bob, and then become my mentor,
“Son don’t you waste this money. Save it for a rainy day!”
And I’d reply “No worries Dad!” Then blow most of it away.

But I had a go at saving, though me balance hardly grew,
With the little interest that I earnt, I’d have to say it’s true,
I’ll end up owing banks galore, ‘cause I’ll have to get a loan,
So I secretly called Grandpa from, the post office telephone. 

You might wonder why I say, I have to make a secret call.
Well Dad and my Mum’s father just don’t get on at all,
For years there’s been a subject, on which my Dad has stewed,
That ended up so vicious and became a family feud.

At first I thought Dad’s jealous, ’cause Grandpa is filthy rich, 
And if he cared about his daughter, at least he ought to pitch,
A couple of quid across to us that would put us on our feet.
But Grandpa said “Keep working hard; and hard times you will beat”. 

I never knew the skeleton that’s hidden, on which my father stewed,
Or the reason what had caused us all, to be in this family feud,
Until Grandpa asked upon the phone, “Come down and visit Son,
Then I’ll explain how I got rich, after being close to skun”.    

Grandpa had it all you know. A Rolls Royce and Mercedes Benz. 
A swimming pool with diving board; of course gold plated pens.  
His house was multi storied and he had some servants too.
I said “Grandpa, I’d like this. How do I get rich like you?”

“Well Son” he said, “It all began way back in thirty three,
When I never had a ‘razoo’, and ‘lo behold’ I found a penny.
And with that penny I invested. I bought an apple from a store.
I shined it for an hour and sold it for tuppence more”.

“And then I took that threepence, and went back to the store
And bought myself three apples, then shined them up some more,
And do you know by that day’s end, my goal I got to reach,
When I sold those apples one by one, and got threepence each”.

“Son I continued buying apples, and my business surely grew,
Six months further down the track, I had ten pound four and two. 
Yes me fortune it grew daily, and then exploded yes it did
When your Grandma’s father died, and left us two million quid”.

©2004 Lindsay Laurie
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