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I've got myself a stalker and Julian's his name I've got myself a stalker and stalking is his game He stalks me in the morning and he stalks me when it's dark He's often lurking by the lake or bushes in the park They say it's paranoia but that's psycho babble talking So how come the same guys always there behind me when I'm walking I've got myself a stalker who's as mental as can be He says he'll dedicate his sorry life to stalking me He sends me crazy letters and he calls me on the phone He listens at my letterbox to see if I'm alone It didn't bother me at first just took it on the chin But now if I am truthful feel to do the f*cker in Can't face going out the door at times I'm left upon the shelf Have i told the police about him? Nah! I'll deal with this myself I've got myself a stalker so I bought myself a knife It's reached the point that for this crazy b*stard I'll do life Ain't no one I can talk to and there's no one understands I think it's time that I took matters into my own hands Show him the error of his ways this God damn awful farce It's coming back to bite this motherf*cker in the ass Well I used to have a stalker who was f*cked up in the head But he won't be stalking me no more cuz now the f*ckers dead.
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