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From Bitter to Sweet

From one who knows.
The pain of separation – divorce.  One friend said, “death”
would be easier.  The husband of my youth.  There were happier
times.  Fleeting memories, of laughter, sunshine and lingering kisses, 
pictures, walks, talking, discussing all things.  As thoughts rushed through my mind
of the day we eloped to be married, oh, we thought, we knew it all.
We had the world by the tail, why did it fall apart?
The fact, people and circumstances change.

For me – I was the mother of four children; I was forced to grow up
with my children.  For him, he had a desire to remain young and 
free.
But children bring responsibility.  Little ones depend on you and you are so
busy just trying to live.  Dinners to fix, groceries to buy.  Bills to pay, children
to raise and love.

Then the years pass, you realize that he doesn’t love you, he never really did.  He
doesn’t know what love really is, and never did or ever will.  He thought
that lust was love.  What do you do?  You have little ones now.  You’ve
never worked outside your home.  You don’t have any money.  Your
health is not good, are you trapped?  Do you stick it out?  Do you run
away?  Do you give up?  What about your babies?

It was then; I found new life in Jesus Christ.  I found hope for tomorrow and
help for today.  I found more love and acceptance than I had ever known.
I found a new way when there was no way.  I found a door of hope for
my children.  Did he?

Unfortunately, no!  He hated the Christ in me and told me so.  The more that 
Jesus loved him through me, the more he hated me.
But, you think that the LORD will change him.  You pray and fast for him.
You love him with God’s love.  You stand on the Word of God for him
to be saved.  Surely, everything will be all right.

But, it falls apart, he wants to leave.  He is taken out of your life.  You feel
anger, you feel despair, and you feel so all alone.  Then, you’re angry of how
he really treated you.  You didn’t know how bad it was until he was gone.
But now, you know that is where God’s precious Spirit takes over.

You pray, Father God take this anger away.  Father, I don’t want to lose You
to, and Your fellowship and with my Jesus and Your Spirit!  I’ve lost my 
mate that was terrible but, Father if I lose You, I will die!

Our God is so Faithful!  You cry out for help and for His strength to forgive
this husband of your youth.  Two months, no change it seems, the anger is still 
there, but six months now and there is a precious healing and the anger is
gone.  Forgiveness replaces it!  Oh the Love of the Master!

You learn again, God’s mercy is so great!  What you clung to was really killing
you.  You wanted to believe only good.  You wanted to see only good things.
You were lying to yourself.  But, seeing with God’s eyes slows us to see the bad to.  
Your life had become something with a bitter flavor.  God wanted a sweet flavor
and a sweet incense unto Him.

How hard it is to love and show His precious love to others when you’re being
stung all of the time.  Always in pain.  Always bearing a broken heart within.

But, oh the sweetness of deliverance.  The joy of broken shackles, for the bitterness
of imprisonment falls off when you’ve been totally set free.  Your life truly turns
from bitter to sweet.

Written by:  Marilyn Jennings
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