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They ventured in to Amsterdam to have a little break.
Alas it all went very wrong when they tried a slice of cake.
Before that fateful moment it had all gone very well,
Dinners, walks and seeing sights – and then they really fell.

They stopped to have a bite to eat at a lovely little place.
The men arrived with plates of cake which the locals know as ‘space’
They all felt fine and ventured home to relax and then get dressed.
Yet to know that within an hour they’d be laughing or depressed.

As half the group began to laugh at every little thing,
For the other two events had turned into a very different spin.
As one crawled along the cold hard floor awaiting impending doom,
The other was moving furiously to every little tune.

After an eternity of crippling fear – the paranoid one felt hardy,
She decided to brave the outside world so donned her favourite cardy.
Like a nervous schizophrenic she edged into the bar,
Looking for her other friends – she didn’t have to look that far.

The group had fallen victim to those cakes and cigarettes,
They were laughing in the corner at the one who’d caught tourettes.
Convinced a worm was in his head he jerked and drummed the table,
The paranoid one had tried to laugh but she really wasn’t able.

Her mouth fused shut and her heart beat fast but the worst was yet to follow
Panic struck when she tried to drink but had forgotten how to swallow.
The giggly ones just kept giggling and the dancing one drummed to the beat
He nearly cried when he went to stand up and the moves had spread to his feet.

Common sense set in as they rose from their seats and dancing boy wiggled his hips,
The only solution to calm him down was to go and get him some chips.
They found a nice place and sat themselves down and somehow they ordered some steak.
Then the dancing one got stuck in the kitchen, oh why did they eat so much cake.

The food arrived but their mouths were too dry and the forks were too heavy to lift
They decided to leave and get some fresh air and wait for the madness to shift.
They stumbled on the seediest street where drug dealers spoke in their ear,
They were achy and twitching and shaky, from the cake and the cold and the fear.

They gave up and went back and tucked up warm in bed and laughed at the terrible night.
2 laughers a dancer and a paranoid one – what a ridiculous sight.
Thankfully soon it was over and everything turned out fine,
But a lesson was learnt in old Amsterdam and next time they’ll stick to the wine.
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