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Life for me began from an angry seed; mom was only 14 years old when she was raped. She was told to abort or give this child up for adoption that no good would come of this. I am here because she fought to keep me. One sad part of all of this was her younger brother died a few years earlier, his death broke her heart. Mom's little brother was the only one in her family with blond hair and blue eyes.  Mom’s eyes were hazel and sometimes green. After I was conceived, she would get on her knees to pray, she prayed that she would have a boy with blond hair and blue eyes, like her brother. Before I was born, she was told I was a girl because of my heart rate—this was before ultrasound.  I am a boy and the only sibling of my family with blond hair and blue eyes; mom gave me the name of her brother, Edward.

So what does life mean to someone who was a mistake, someone that almost did not know life.  Well, we are all products of our experiences and those before us. If we just look at our hands, the blood flowing in those veins have a history, a history more important than any one of us as a single person, and at some point in life each of us will become part of our history. I was taught that honor and integrity were one of the most important gifts in life that once you lose those things, they are lost forever.

I am hopelessly devoted to the one I love. When I look into her eyes, I get lost. She is my best friend in life and she is my wife--pretty cool, right? Looking back, life can be complicate, and sometimes it leaves us with tough challenges, but when you get knocked down, you get back up, we owe that to all those before us. The glue that binds all of us in life begins with love…without love what do we have. My heart believes people in life deserve a chance, we are all one race, the human race, and that is how I see life socially.

We tend to put people into boxes, but I feel only those individuals who are willing to use their minds without prejudice, and without fear while in the process of figuring things out, and while at the same time understanding they may be wrong when they figure those things out....those are the only ones who are truly free. 

So for me life is a gift; each morning when I awake is a present, a present of life. I look over to my wife and I see another present, and my children and grandchildren are present. When one steps outside you find other presents, there is harmony in life. There is a purpose for all I see, well, except I feel like a visitor, disconnected, but I still embrace life—I am thankful for each moment that is given. The scents, the colors, and intricacies of our planet is truly breath taking, beautiful. Yet, there is something else, maybe magic in the sense there are a few souls I have encountered that I feel their presence with no explanation. So as I look to the stars at night in amazement appreciating the beauty in all I see, I wonder how many in history before me looked up and asked, why? 

Edward J Ebbs - 02/07/2015



Written for a Contest: "What Life Means To Me"
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