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I kept searching for years when the answer I seek was so near. I kept looking for a profound answer but found myself on a wearisome path, marred with interminable disasters. I emptied the desk drawers and throw out the old files. I emptied the filing cabinet but the answer was still not there. All I felt was the universe kept beckoning me to come. I fasted and pray and deny myself of all worldly pleasures, but the answer I seek was not within my reach. Several answers came in a timely manner but they were not for me. I have encountered years of infinite austerity, months of deprivation and mishaps cluttered my bold path tempting me to abandon my faith and walk the other way, but in spite of these adversities, I stood strong as my unwavering faith and intense determination kept pushing me to go on. So I kept searching, hoping that one day I could find the ultimate answer. I trod over hills and valleys, landing on hard terrains, mingling in the company of peculiar, and hostile people. Their extraordinary culture with aged old structure impersonating facetious behavior, and its deceptive spirit framing the heart of its inhabitant whose goals are branded in the epitaph of death. This was not what I had hoped for, I had hoped for something new; something comforting and inspiring, an experience to refresh my sprit, stimulate my mind and relax my burdensome soul. I have always think big, and have big dreams you know, I have great dreams to explore the universe, immense dreams to make new discoveries and create something fantastic for humanity. I always dream of having plenty and everything that I need. Dreams of waking up in the mornings and walk on the beach with my friends and family and view the sunrise from a distant. I have splendid dreams to undertake something kind and special, dreams to create something extraordinary, dreams to start my own business, but everywhere I turn, all I experience is disgracful and outrageous dishonesty. I stumbled upon crooks, scammers, liars, criminals, unkind, heartless, cruel, ungrateful and mean-spirited people. Mind you, I have met a few warmhearted ones by the way but they soon become poisoned forcing me to walk away, and they too quickly fade away. Hoping from one extreme to the next has caused me to seriously contemplate the reason for this senseless path. The hustling and bustling, squeaking and wailing and dust waiting to be sprinkled over the troubled ground. The wind is blowing extremely hard and tides are rising high and my boat is sailing peacefully amidst the furious tides. I delved in a motionless sleep and went on an adventure way out in the deep; I floated for several hours looking up at the clear blue sky anchored in the heavens and the galaxy interwoven around it with ibillion of stars staring energetically at me while the night apologizes sincerely for my cluttered and winding path; it rocked me tenderly like a babe, and listened patiently to my pains. It pulled out a sophisticated handkerchief and gentle dried my woeful tears, then whisper quietly in my ear “I have the answer that you seek my dear,peace, be still” I looked around but no one was there. ©2015 Christine Phillips
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