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Sex for breakfast , lunch and dinner That’s the F plan diet for me I might take a break at coffee Or during afternoon tea. You could wear your marigold gloves And we could explore every kink. I could get the rubber plunger and make rude noises in the sink. I want nourishment not punishment She sighed breathlessly to me They say sex burns up 100s of calories Let’s see if we can get past 3. We don’t need any Viagra We’ll get by with what we can. But just to be on the safe side I’ll go and get some philosan. They say desire diminishes with age To which I say tosh. And that passion loses its rage That’s a theory that with me won’t wash. I’ll pose topless in me jim jams And you wear your frilly nightie I’ll pretend that I’m a stud And you my Aphrodite. You look so sensuous and sultry In your face pack and your flip flops Nothing you do is paltry To me you’re always the tops. Your perfume is quite exquisite Is it sweet essence of pine? No, I am mistaken, Of course eau de woodbine. Ah the post coital fag It really can’t be beat What will we do tomorrow? What do you think of me feet? If sex is low in calories I don’t want a diet that’s light. Coo what’s that lump in the bed? What again? Already? Sorry I’m too tired, night night. ©Michael Birchmore 2013
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