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the conversation goes as follows......with my nine year old daughter
Mom is Santa really real?
What do you think?
I don't know..some kids are saying he's not
so...is he real, mom?
can you just believe without knowing I ask
NO
Well.....if you want the truth ...no he is not
big brown eyes looking up at me pooling with tears..
I say..you wanted the truth and I gave it to you
stomping off to her room...slamming the door....
I feel like crap...
her door opens again and down the hall she came 
So... I guess that the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are not real as well?
long pause...not wanting to crush all her dreams....in such a short time
Well?
Yes, honey... they are not real as well...
tears and such a look of dismay she turns and runs back to her room
now I feel so bad (worse then crap)
moments later...she appears and states So...you've been lying to me all along!!!!!!
head nods and I fight back tears and nod again
at that moment I wish she was two again and Christmas would be magical and full of wonder....but I know we can't go back
Motherhood is full of Truths that are not fair

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