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Gather round and listen in to a story I once saw in a show It was called
 
THE MAN WITH THE BIFOCAL GLASSES
 
now the play bill was dated Sept. 8 2011

It was about the redneck who didn't want to admit he need glasses
let alone bifocals but he kept falling down and rolling around
He tripped on a broken pencil and split his pants well he was wearing
underwear with a hole in them and that was quite a site
He tried to duck tape it closed but it stuck to his butt cheeks
Then he needed help to try and get the tape of his trailer hitch
But the man he call on his cell phone to help him told that he
couldn't help him it look just like he did a pretty good job 
fixin the crack in his butt all by his self but he told him
He wasn't trying to fix the crack in is butt he was tryin' to
fix his britches he just had a hole in his underwear and the tape
stuck to the crack in the butt so now can he pull it off
Well that lead to another can of worms
He told him he couldn't do it cause he was afraid when he did
it would hurt him so bad that this man just might poo his pants and he 
didn't want to take the chance of the fall out

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