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An enormous pole 
made of chrome 
A table set 
Steve, knew he was home 

With a tiny leather thong, 
he swung around, 
in a world he did belong, 
with the rythm of the sound 

Around he twirled, 
faster and faster 
The lights swirled 
He was the master! 

Stripclub Steve, 
a legend of his own making 
A master of the pole 
There was no faking, 
no by your leave 
To win! 
His only goal! 

Word spread... 
Far and wide 
Stripclub Steve 
To see him glide! 
Such dazzling skill! 
You would not believe! 

Now, there were championships to be won 
Stripclub Steve... 
A man on a mission 
A man with a loaded gun! 

How he twirled 
How he swirled 
The chrome gleamed 
The contest won? 
Or so it seemed 

But along came Desperate Annie 
A girl with a most beautiful fanny 
With her feminine charm, 
it filled steve with alarm! 

He tightened up his leather thong 
Carefully patted it all in place 
For this was the serious race! 
For this  Geordie lad... 
The prize was to be had 

So with an almighty effort of will, 
he grasped the chrome 
The crowd was still 
With a nod to the judges, 
the music commenced 
Stripclub  Steve was home, 
the trophy in the bag 
he sensed... 

With a twirl here 
and a twirl there 
The crowd gave an almighty cheer 
Stripclub Steve... 
Was on air! 

That chrome pole, 
touched his very soul 
It was in the bag 
He did his best 
Now it was up to the judges, 
if he had passed the test 

Two hundred hopefuls in town... 
One hundred and ninety nine girls 
Steve, the only man... 
The talent to unfurl... 
Could he take away the crown? 

Now, Stripclub Steve is a Geordie lad... 
There's prizes to be had 
He waited with bated breath 
Had he done enough to pass the test? 

A unanimous decision! 
Skill on the chrome! 
Our boy Steve, 
brought it home! 

So there it was... 
A legend in his own lifetime! 
The trophy raised above his head! 
With the crowd roaring, 
he ripped off his leather thong 
and sent it soaring! 
Upwards it flew... 
Like a leather bat 
Down it came 
and hit Desperate Annie, 
right in the twat! 

So let this be a lesson to all you blokes... 
Stripclub Steve, 
our man of the chrome 
Brought it home! 
So spare the jokes, 
read this and believe!
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