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Poem

Will it shine through,
or cause me to bleed dry?
How hard is it that I have to try? 
Is that which I have done, 
Is it enough? 
Have I reached the summit, 
Reached it only to be told,
To be told to transcend the sky?
I feel it yet again, can I be unhappy?
Unhappy when she smiles at me?
When I catch her staring? 
Can I keep myself from lolling, 
Lolling, 
looking at her?
Will she stop smiling at me?
Will I fall away?
how can it be? 
That this, on the canvas is what I see?
The sun is disappearing, 
and still the light is not withholding
She’s here now
here in my head,
She’s not the past, 
She’s far from that…
Is it?
Is it that she’s the future?
How can it be,
 when the signals seem,
seem so mixed?
I ask for advice from one
One tells me to try,
One wants me to succeed,
But how can I succeed without,
without remembering what I have done?
One tells me, don’t worry, it’ll be fine.
One says, you have what it takes.
One, she, says you have what it takes.
What it takes to call her “mine”
One reminds, how can you,
How can you, if you don’t try?
Then, when I remember what I can do.
I shake, and my hands are nervous.
My brain focuses, on what I don’t like
What I don’t like in that instance,
Yet… 
There…
There she sits…
Sits patiently…
Patiently waiting for me to explain…
Can I forget her eyes?
How hard was it?
How hard can it be?
How hard can it be to do it again?
I see my past, it is running fast…
Faster and faster…
And it…
It…
it wants to catch up…
to catch up and ruin everything for me…
How can I feel it… 
How can I know?
What can I do?
One reminds me,
One, she, says, 
Try
Try
Try

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