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Subject
Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
Yesterday I went home for lunch
I never go home for lunch

When I got to our apartment I don't know why
 but I didn't reach for my key 

 I was sure I had locked the door but I didn't reach for my key
I reached for the door knob and turned

The door was open
The moment I entered I knew I froze
I could feel it smell it hell I could taste it

I started walking but my muscles wouldn't move 
my lungs were grasping for air for some oxygen 
but I could barely breathe

Leave I told myself but I kept walking
Not really walking, it was like a slow motion scene in a movie
 But this wasn't a movie
 This was my life and I could feel it slipping away from my grasp

I heard noises
Francine
 I had heard those noises a hundred times before 
they were the sounds of an Angel 
but this was no heaven this was my own private nightmare

The moans traveled through the muck in the air
 and were amplified like the hiss from a distorted speaker
 It mocked me over and over again

Climbing a mountain might have been easier 
 I finally reached the bedroom 

I knew the moment I entered the apartment 
Why hadn't I just turned back
 I could barely see my eyes were  
covered in layers of salted moisture

but I could see her I had never seen him before 
They were naked in our bed Our bed

You'd think the green eyed monster 
would control my actions from here 
on in. 

I was insanely jealous but I didn't want to
end up the morning headline in the newspaper.

That monster jealousy was by my side but I took
charge. I'd have to keep him at bay, at least for now.

You'd think I would be mad I wasn't
You'd think I'd curse and call her whore she wasn't

She was just sharing, sharing her body 
 with someone, someone who wasn’t me 
Being cut open alive must be less painful than this

I had done the same countless times before 
That was so different it felt so harmless the other way around
 You excuse it rationalize it away

But this hacked away at my spirit 
and tore at my self-worth
I spoke I mean my lips moved and words came out
I think I think I said I'm not sure it all happened so fast
she never spoke

I could see the shame on her face 
she didn't need to speak but
but I think I said Sorry I said Sorry and I left

I wandered for what seemed hours it was minutes 
It wasn't like I was meandering to a different drummer
 there just wasn't any music anymore
 I was moving to the rhythm of the beating of my heart 
Like a broken record it was skipping 

I suffered in my circled steps
 until I couldn't stand anymore 
and found just enough strength
 to return to the apartment 
I knew she was gone I already felt the emptiness in my frame

She was gone
She had left a note
It said Sorry

Sorry!

We both were.

Maurice Yvonne
Sponsor: Verlena S. Walker
Contest Name: The Green-Eyed Monster
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