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A very dark and lonely place, my mind is
Most of my time is spent there, as not much goes on to my person
To ever take me outside of it
A fantasyland it could be thought of as
Barrages of thoughts spinning wildly off in the distance
Off the wall and ever so random
Hopes and dreams that seem impossible, just over the mountains
Luckily, no one will ever experience living in the hell that is my mind
I’d never wish that upon my worst enemy
For even they could never withstand it for even a day
Nonstop introversion, intuition, thought, and judgement defines my personality
As the rarest in the world
Suffering from severe cases of anxiety and chronic depression, I do
Dysthymia and atelophobia, just some of what haunts me
From the slightest imperfection
Or feeling of rejection
Pushing me down
Leaving me dejected

What is one to do when they have two brains
One numbly depressed
That craves not a care at all
But the other frighteningly anxious
That will settle for nothing but perfection
These symptoms combine and the brain is left dazed and confused
Racing at thousands of miles an hour
Desperately seeking an answer to how I should process my thought
This cruel nature of my personality
Only intensified by my life events
The moving, the bullying, the divorce
Tragedies that have built up walls around my heart and soul
Forcing me deeper into myself and my intellect
Such a colder place with each new visit

Rebellion, anger, loneliness, and frustration I do not naturally possess
Yet I still feel every day
Starving for love, attention, and comfort
Yet no means of attaining the emotional necessities
The suffering from extreme social anxiety is deeply ingrained
Deep in the being, from both the nature and the nurture
From both the genes and the environment
So it seems to be the case
This is the tragic struggle I face
Inclusion, understanding, and love, nothing more desired
Yet none ever requited
Left only to myself
Left so the vicious cycle can continue its slow killing of me
Extreme sensitivity is part of who I am
Able to greatly understand and feel my feelings
However like a child, unable to ever control, cope, or express them
These qualities, each on their own, I am proud I possess
But when constructed into the unique framework
That makes my being, what a cruel joke
Every aspect of my character
Like it could not possibly be complemented in a worse way
No one understands or cares, I'm one of a kind
This has been A Cold Voyage Into The Depths Of My Mind
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