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Hey guys this isn't a poem it's more like me telling you all about myself and my life.
As you all may know from the content of my poems that I suffer from mild to severe depression. I've been depressed for a little bit over a year but it's only now      that it's really starting to set it's roots and kick in full effect. It used to just creep up on me one day I'd be happy, smiling and laughing then the next day I wouldn't want to get out of bed I'd suddenly become sad for no apparent reason at all. It would so bad to the point that I'd get excruciatingly painful migraine headaches daily during which any kind of light made my eyes hurt. If I tried to get up and walk I'd get dizzy and lose my balance there were times where I couldn't see, I couldn't eat. I was also very self conscious about my body image and weight and still am. I used to weigh 105 pounds and my doctor would tell me that I have a high metabolism and I'd hate myself for that no matter what I tried to do I couldn't gain weight. That alone would be enough to send me into a downward spiral of depression I'd try out for the football team at my school and I'd get rejected because I didn't meet the weight requirements and that would make me even more sad. Ok moving on I now weigh 120 pounds I'm still not happy with it but I accept it for now. Nowadays I get so depressed over anything literally will trigger me. I'd worry about things and then I'd obsess over it. Recently there have been times I'd obsess over things to the point that I'd get suicidal. Just recently last night me and my girlfriend had a fight and almost broke up I got so depressed about it that I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd do without her and I got extremely suicidal I did something that I hadn't done for almost a month. I self harmed. Speaking of self harm when I first started doing it I'd cut my wrists almost every night it got so bad that at the end of that first month my wrists and forearms were covered in scars. Through the times when I was extremely suicidal I did everything I could to kill myself I hung myself from the ceiling fan, I've tried to drown myself, I've slit my wrists, I've overdosed, once I've even attempted suicide at school in the restroom. Over the past months I've tried to be strong, I've tried to set a good example for my little brother and sisters, I've tried so hard but on the inside I'm just really sensitive and weak. I've just recently started thinking about reaching out for professional help.
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