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"Baby, this view is fantastic, 
Who knew what you could buy with plastic! 
With these credit cards, unlimited funds, 
Any regrets, heck no, baby I got none. 
Riding on an interest rate of twenty percent, 
Who cares, this is money well spent!" 
Says the thief who stole my purse from the rest stop location, 
One of the many tales of my no good, horrible road trip vacation. 
Riding down I-seventy five, heading to Mackinaw Island for a getaway, 
Me and my best boy beside me, taking an adventure, oh what a day. 
Construction just north of Detroit, that scary van is stopped to our right. 
Keeping my legs crossed, I might wet myself, will that be alright. 
He gives me a smile with a crooked left tooth and a wave with two fingers 
Push the gas pedal quick, the filthy dirty looks he is giving on me lingers. 

Put the pedal to the metal and off we go, not slowing down for no one 
Riding high in my seventy-three coupe de vile, the fun has just begun 
Didn't see that State Trooper hiding behind that sign, just past Auburn Hills 
Tried to out gun him with my 405, but he caught us just past the old mills 
"Son you are in a heap of a mess, speeding like Ricky Bobby in Talladega 
nights. 
Two choices, let me have a spin with your gal or I'll haveta read you your 
rights." 
After twenty minutes, we sped off not even looking in the rear view mirror 
Our vacation destination of Mackinaw Island was getting closer and clearer. 
It was smooth sailing, so we thought, as the night was getting dark. 
Find a hotel bed soon baby, we all are angst we missed our mark. 
The sign said two miles to Holiday Inn, But it’s already been nine. 
Comin’ up on us now is a big yellow Dead End road sign. 
Down this dirt road we skimming across freshly grated dirt. 
Could stop fast enough, deer crossing, don’t worry none got hurt. 

Baby this ride is exciting 
That’s what I’m supposed to be sayin’ 
But with my crosses on my neck, 
All these issues, dang I’m just prayin’ 
Ridin’ seventy five, with the wind in our hair. 
I don’t care how we do it, baby just get us there. 


Finally arrived in Mackinaw City, getting ready to board Shepler's Ferry
The line was long, the lake waves were high, we were saying Hail Mary's
The winds picked up, the skies drew dark. a storm had come without warning
The ferry turned around, couldn't go there now, not until the next morning.

We stayed in a run down, worn out cabin on the edge of the great lakes 
Wondering why these vacations always turn out to bring mistakes. 
But then I look in your eyes and you look deeply into my mine. 
And i know no matter where we go or what we do, everything turns out just 
fine.

Vacation Humor Contest
07/14/2014
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