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It was just a typical ordinary night
I was all tucked up in bed
Radio on reading a book
By lamp light.

When suddenly
I saw a flash in the corner of my eye
Boy I was so scared
I nearly wet myself
I was petrified.

For there under the wardrobe
I did see
A giant mouse twitching it's nose
I could have sworn
It was laughing at me.

It had two huge eyes
The size of dinner plates
It was nearly as huge as a house
It was my worst nightmare come true
A giant enormous mouse.

I screamed when I realized it wasn't a dream
At the huge hairy monster fiend
Well I panicked and jumped out of bed
Ran down stairs screaming!!!!!
And banged my head.

I grabbed a pile of books
And hid in the bathroom
And locked the door
and put some things against the door
And some towels at the bottom on the floor.

And there I stayed for two weeks or more only occationaly
Leaving to get a drink or some food
Anything else I wasn't in the mood.

Well I wasn't going to let a mouse outsmart me
That would have been so silly
You see
So I bought a humane mouse trap
Because I hate killing things
And tried to tempt it in
I tried every contraption on the market
But still the mouse would win
It was like a mouse hotel
I tried  sardines cheese and pastabake
Chocolate and well done steak
Salmon toast boiled egg and sweets
It ate me out of house and home
With all the treats.
But still I couldn't get it.

Well soon I turned into a crazed mad killer!
With a shotgun and an axe
I was a hunter and my mouse was my prey
But still the mouse had it's day
Dynamite was the last resort
I tried real hard but it couldn't be bought.

Then one day I found it dead
The fattest mouse I'd ever seen laid by my bed.

It was finally over to my relief
But I felt so sorry for the critter
that caused me so much grief.

But having spent two weeks
In the bathroom with all those books
At least I came out a much wiser well read man
And a mouse is all that it took
But now I was broke
I didn't have a penny left
As I'd overfed the mouse to death



Peter Dome.copyright.2014. June.
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