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Poem
i almost cried 
bought a cheap 
gas bottle
from a friend 
who was up visiting
said a neighbor 
had moved out
gave it 
to him saying 
its almost full
saying its three times
normal size 
of the gas bottle t
which you 
have out there 

how much 
do you want 
for it i said
seeing a chance 
of a bargain 
really interested
30 euros he said 
managed to get it 
for 20 euros
telling him
i am taking a chance
it might not work
smiling into myself
different story later

got it back 
to the place
carried it 
around the back
got a jublie clip 
connected them together
went in 
began putting on a fry
cooking away almost done 
i turn to
my niece 
walks in the door

she gives me
 one awful push 
screaming into flames 
roaring saying 
the place
is on fire 
all the hairs 
on my arms 
went up 
in smoke 
caught a bucket of water 
throwing it 
upon the flames 
my hair catches fire 
my niece 
was roaring laughing 
at this stage 

ran around 
the back ripped 
the gas bottle 
out from the wall
run in with another 
bucket of water 
dousing the flames 
ran to the barrel 
of water 
dipping my hands in
only now 
i am shaking 
with shock

that stupid gas bottle 
has just 
cost me 
a clean fortune 
should of known
it was to 
good to be true

put creams 
for burns on 
had a sleepless night 
but everything is ok 
just have 
hairless arms 
sick working at 
repairing the damage

that is me 
finished with
 gas bottles
my niece 
said she could
not help laughing 
even i was in flames 
she said it was the fastest
she ever saw me moving 
with your hair on fire
it was like something out 
of a movie 

she said 
it did not seem real
that she was shocked 
stood and done nothing
my father today 
began laughing

he said my arms 
he never seen them 
looking so smooth looking
a better job 
than waxing he said
a mad story 
from the hills 
of donegal

imagine that 
an idiot almost 
blew himself up 
laughing out loud
into myself ha ha
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