Email Poem

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Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
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I know it was tough for you
But see it through my eyes
You had alcohol to ease the pain
I had confusion of the ways of the world
And the terror of this is the way it’s going to be forever
and soo far I was accurate
Look at my life
Small 
Insecure 
Afraid
Watching my loved ones fight
And my dad never came to that occlusion until he was with my step mom
and he was fighting with her
and I broke down in frustration and he said
It’s hard when your loved ones fight

The broken home got worse before it got better
Because after you left
My next memory
Is purple finger print son my neck
from my brother
Monkey see monkey do
And god only knows what stuff I’m blocking out
Maybe nothing
It’s been hard mom
I know life isn’t fair
While life seems to turn up all roses for him
It hasn’t
Look at the accidents surrounding grandpa's estate
And grandma's cancer
And I love you all
And my life has been a terrifying nightmare
I no longer know how to mask or hide with humor

I know it sounds selfish
but sometimes when I call u at 3 in the morning
I need someone to talk to
like when you call me at three in the morning I talk to you
I don't know what to say but I love you
And you will never have to ask for that
I may never know the truth of everything that surround my life of 
Reasons I cant take a compliment
and cry for the world
and lie to my doctors
and mistrust everyone
But Freud says it goes back to the parents
But I always blame me and god
For all the times I prayed and made the wrong prayers
Like he was some genie
and now you’re all paying the price
for the stupidity I possess I’m not getting any better at handling

Anyway laundry day is coming
and I need some clean underwear
So I’m going to do all the things you taught me
And you know what
Dad never taught me how to shave
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