Email Poem

Your IP Address: 3.22.27.22

Your Email Address:

To Email Address:

Subject

Personal Note:

Poem Title:

Poem

My doctor says I’m overweight,
I’m in the orange band,
To make it to the yellow zone
I’ll need a helping hand.

So he’s cancelled Sunday breakfast
And sworn me off scotch eggs,
He’s drained my car of petrol
Chuckling ‘Learn to use your legs!’

But I don’t really buy it.
There’s alternatives to diet.

I used to have a ponytail,
So first I had that chopped.
I filed off my fingernails -
They didn’t do a lot.

I syphoned every orifice,
That’s ears and nostrils too,
Then shaved all up and down the stairs
And blocked my pores with glue.

I bought myself a leotard
All webbed and made of feather
And leaf-thin flip-flops filled with air
(I’m hoping for good weather).

So the morning of the retest came,
I wandered down the road
And got savaged by a pit bull,
Who chewed off all my toes.

And thanks to that good fortune,
When I stepped on the machine,
The doctor said ‘I’ve got good news!
You’re one gram in the green.’

CAPTCHA Preview

Type the characters you see in the picture

Required