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She handed me a pattern for her bridesmaid dress
Intricate it was, and the fabric was sleek
My sewing machine skipped ‘tween each stitch, I confess
Knowing some proportions I’d still have to tweak

Tessa had a figure resembling a milk carton
So I reinforced each thread by hand with great care
Some proportions were large, but she was no Dolly Parton
And there was not an inch of fabric left to spare

Each of the twelve panels that formed the bodice
Were ironed and carefully set into place
(It wasn’t the first gown I’d made; I was no novice)
You should have seen how I stretched the skimpy lace

A French stitch was needed to prevent any fraying
Each night for three weeks I spent hours on this dress
The neckline require extensive crocheting
Finally I brought it to her, hoping to impress

In the weeks that had passed, Tessa had overeaten
And the pattern size twelve should have now been eighteen
The gown was perfectly stitched, but her diet did sweeten
A mirror wouldn’t suffice; she needed a wide screen

I charged not a penny for the work I had done
While other bridesmaids paid four-hundred or more
As Tessa squeezed into the dress, seams came undone
In the rear she resembled a huge wild boar

Since there was no more fabric available
Little could be done to ease Tessa’s anger
Her accusations of incompetence were highly debatable
Her gown simply looked far better on a hanger


*True story.  Made many gowns and costumes for friends at no cost, but this was the last. LOL


Written Sunday, March 23, 2014 for Verlena S. Walker’s contest

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