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She is Dead
                 numbness
                                 not sorrow
                                                not grief
                                                            Just numbness.

Over came me
My eyes they are dry
No tears can they shed
My heart it is the same
No feelings of loss
No feelings of pain
                                                    WHY?
I must feel sadness
But deep inside
Deeply inside
There is a spark of eternal Joy

My sisters they weep openly
A thousand tears of emptiness they release
From redden eyes
                       
                           Even my father
                                 Who I thought
                                  I honestly believed
                                  Had long ago
                                   Stopped loving her
He cries alone in a chair by his bed
Alone in the dark
Gently the tears roll off his cheek
To his lap
                            Quietly
                                     Silently
                             He lets them roll

Than suddenly he grasp his face
With both his big hands
As if to tare out his eyes
His head and back collapse to his knees
He falls from his chair
                             And snobs.
Yes even Father
Who treated her so cold
Even he loved her.

She is Dead.
                Gone from this life forever
                But that is what she wanted
                When I was but a lad of nine
                 And she a lady of thirty three
                 Do you know what she told me?
                 When we were in the car
                 Just her and me
"I want to die!"
                  She said it
                                  Just like that
"I want to die before I'm fifty
I don't want to age"
         "But Mommy I love you"
Tears seep from this babe's face
          "Mommy you must live forever!
           I love you Mommy!
           I love you Mom-"


"SHUT UP!                                                       SHUT UP!
I wish I was dead so I would never
Have to see your face again!"

After that day I stopped loving her
         How could I love something I might lose?
         How could a boy
          A mere boy
                                    Understand?

            (continued Where do the Flowers go in Winter (Part two)
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