Email Poem

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Poem

Tired of lying, saying I’m alright
Tired of staying awake, every lonely night.

Look in the mirror, at the face in the glass,
Look like a question no one ever asks.  

Tired of dying, done everyday.
Tired of telling mom it’s ok

Cuz it’s not, damnit, I’ll never be fine
Cuz I live with this fear that killing’s divine

When it’s me with the knife and with the hammer
When I hold the pistol, don’t write me banners.

Don’t send goodbye presents 
Don’t hold farewell parties

The only fare that went well was 
The only quarter I threw down a well.

Well you could say he's handsome
Well handsome’s just fine,

Not if your life is stringing past your nose on a wire,
Not when the river is dry, when I am naked.

I swim naked in cold rivers, actually 
I walk.  I take these trips to go walking
I take these trips to forget
I write these words cuz I remember

And I want to get all the clouded thoughts out of my head
And I want to forget it then
And I want you to see what I write
But I don’t want you to see me
And don’t let me die, don’t let me die, 

Let me die.

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