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Dedicated to Papa

This Christmas morning has dawned
I stir and stare up at the ceiling
Then it hits me, this emotion of dread
This feeling I didn't know I could be feeling.
The day I dreaded has now arrived
And others cry out in joy
But there's one lonely girl standing off to the side
Lost in a world where happiness can't deploy.
I open my presents with my family
And admire them, one by one
But something is missing, it's so obvious
That the most needed present is gone.
I glance around, unsure if I am right
And Mom stares curiously
I stand and make up some excuse
So they won't see tears fall down my cheek.
Silently crying in my room,
I vow to be happy
But even the willpower I have
Is not enough, instead, it's sapping
My life has become a deep, dark hole
That I knew would be here
I knew this moment would come
When there would fall many tears.
I got everything I wanted
And all the things on my list
Each item was crafted perfectly
Each card sealed with a kiss.
But there was one thing missing 
As I stood, longing for some kind of touch
From the person I lost in my life
The thing I needed most was love.
But now he's gone so suddenly
But that was two years ago
Why can't I get over this death? 
Why can't I ever let go?
Why does this only affect me at Christmastime?
Why not any other part of the year?
Is there some reason for this sadness?
For this agony and tears?
Others long to reach out and help me
I can see it in their eyes
But I dart away from all help
And explain it away with lies.
I wish there were some person 
Who I could spill all of this to
But now I know I never can
Because that one person is you.
I got everything I asked for
The gifts perfect like a dove
But I got nothing that I needed
What I needed most was love.

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