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NOT FOR CHILDREN It had been in the window for a week, A bedroom display with Santa in the sack asleep, His bright red clothes draped over the bedpost, A half-empty fifth of whisky on the night stand Adults looked on in horror Especially the old folk A drunken Santa passed out in bed? That was no damn joke! From time to time with onlookers Santa - clad in white, trap door underwear - would rise, Sit his broad bare behind On the edge of the bed, Lift the fifth and take a swig Oh how they gasped the church crowd When Santa lifted, let out gas quite loud Christmas Eve the shocking scenes were passed, A breathing time come at last The bed was empty Santa gone clothes gone Whisky bottle sanding empty BUT! Gawking folk now looking skyward beheld A sleigh eight reindeer And the jolly old elf cracking whip, belching good cheer Rudolf still led the horned team in flight But watchers beheld a stranger sight Bold - lit up like a big red rose – And thrusting a Star reaching beacon, Santa’s whisky sodden nose
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