Email Poem

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Personal Note:

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Poem

For my grandfather.

I can see you sometimes
though you are not here

I see your smile
that day when I was nine
and you told a dirty 
joke to a passing stranger
while we went for a walk.

I did not understand
the joke
but you smiled
and the stranger laughed
so I laughed too
and I have never forgotten
that smile

Some days I wish
I could see it
I mean really see it
not that my minds eye
doesn't do a good job

I just know that if I could
see it
really see it
that means I could 
reach my arms around you
and feel your stubble against my cheek

It would be a long hug
and there would be tears
and then I am sure you would quickly
turn them to laughter 

but I cannot wrap my arms around you
I cannot feel your stubble against my cheek
all I can do is remember

remember your smile
remember your jokes
remember you in your old jeans and older t-shirt
swinging on the back swing
or dozing in the living room with your head back
and mouth open

Sometimes I look at your chair
at the dinner table
and imagine you in it
and you look back at me
with that look you always had
that said I love you
I care about you
I am proud of you
and then you fade
and someone else
here with us in this life
takes your place

can anyone take your place?
can anyone fill your old black loafers?
I suppose not
but they can at least sit in your chair

and

we can all remember

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