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Here I found a cruel necessity for a new, chilling ambience There was even a need for the drifting fogs of dreary past A need for the blurred emptiness that sadness elates An unimpeded appetite for a long lost banister of emotional distain Negative pores glimmered petulantly on polluted shores Drawn to an irrefutable cloud of looming gloom Swollen was the tide of crestfallen reveries—ashen treasuries There in that dark, empty room of ill refute I felt the word ‘alone’ in a new shade of gray I felt sincerely barren—I hesitate to say Yes, I welcomed the weak ray of diminishing hope I disposed of lurid happiness to gamble with tragedy I both lost and gained I was both enlightened and degraded And all else in between Images sustained their displays on my burning canvas Lighting up merely to blacken and destroy Weeping for the sake of weeping alone I grasped onto the disturbing unknown And spat upon my inane, dull, idealistic parables Never meant for meaning or demeaning Only remained then was a desperately distilled and angry fright It was this fright alone that pushed me more to account That pushed me to curse my every being For daring to weep for the sake of weeping Was a personal sin at best blessed There in that slowly illuminating room That slowly blackening burning room I both lost and gained I was both dead innocent and garishly guilty And all else in between
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