Email Poem

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Poem
i saw you standing next to a wall
keen i've seen you 
collected dark shy
wiry tall
so i picked you up
took you home
you just wanted someone to hold
that's what you told me
so i was onto you from the start
knew right away
you'd pull and pick me apart
i've got a cast iron around my heart
from days before i knew so well
guys like you 
they made life hell
and tears of sorrow
in my eyes swell
and oh i know it's just as well
you'll get yours someday
this is getting old
outsold again and again old
just temporary 
ordinary me
i can't make you hang around
i'll throw myself away
just look at me 
my misery 
a non-stop flow
since infancy
temporary
ordinary me
one night 
ruined everything that's al right
i did not request a ring
anyway
not much left to say
it's all over and done with
should've been
could've been
would've been
more prepared
this time a little harder to read
your wants and my needs
you were a catch but i don't care
you only wanted someone to have fun with
then run away 
flashing your dashing
doting, taunting, grin
i quit playing this impossible game
no stakes to claim
they're just too high
and i never win
just temporary 
ordinary me
i can't make you hang around
i'll throw myself away
just look at me this tragedy
it started with your flattery
just temporary
ordinary me
i found it's better i'm alone
i got a grip
handle it
no waiting for the phone
to say your name
i keep on i write words 
that speak my regret and my shame
there is nothing good 
guys like you bring
girls like me
just deprive me
drive me kicking and screaming back to square one in a self-medicating
therapy it's over me
and under me i'm done with writing poetry
to get on forget
get over it and let
it roll on and just be gone
because you don't suffer
like i do
half my fault for trusting in
you
just temporary
ordinary me
i can't make you hang around
or stop you when you stray
just look at me
miss fancy free
you smooth talked it 
right from under me
and held me close
and kissed me right
with eyes glued shut
i closed mine tight
but now i quit
put my foot down
i swear to it
i'm passionate
i'm not temporary
far from ordinary
you're deaf and dumb
and lost if you can't see
this new a little wiser version
of me.
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