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Personal Note:

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Poem

I want you to know what it's like
To be lied to, to be unwanted, undesired, and used
To know you're being played with, played out, played
To want to believe me 
When I repeat to you what I have repeated to a thousand other guys:
That I need you, that I want you
That there is no other 
But you
I want you to feel the aggravation and rejection
When you try to understand why
I can't be with you
I want you to feel the jealousy
Every single time you see me with 'that boy'
To know I'm there
A heartbeat away, a touch away, a breath away
From reality
And know that I'm untouchable to you now;
That I can no longer be reached by you anymore
I want to lead you to believe
We shared something special
While the whole time
I hurt you, I betray you, and I torture you
I make your heart feel things it doesn't want to any longer
Until inevitably, ironically,
You still want me
I want you to feel the uncertainty
Of lying awake at night wondering why
Where did I go wrong
And is there any way to fix this
I want you to feel the incapability of knowing you're falling
For me
And you can't catch your balance
Because it's now too late
You crossed a line you can't cross back over
Because there's boundaries and rules to follow
I want you to feel the frustration of knowing 
You have no right 
To describe, or express, or explain
What is in your heart;
What you feel for me
Because to me 
You are not worthy of honesty
I want you to feel the torture in your soul
To know I want someone else
That it matters not what you feel for me
Because that's not the rules of the game
And well, that's all it is to me: a game
I want you to remember every damn detail
To have it play repeated through your skull
And know that you can't forget 
All because ...
You fell for me

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